My family.....truth is stranger than fiction. And a lot more entertaining.
I went to my folks' for Father's Day, because I'm a good girl. ;) As usual, I coordinated arrival time with my sister; she doesn't like to arrive before I do. I have to recount part of a conversation because it gives a window into the weirdness and entertainment factor that keeps me going to family functions when I'd rather kill someone.
My sister and nephew arrived with a couple of bags of stuff. We always trade stuff back and forth in my family, normally books. Now my sister has rheumatoid arthritis so apparently she asked my nephew to carry the bags while she carried her purse and water and his response was, "you're a shitty sherpa". He knows of someone who recently disappeared in Nepal so he had sherpas on his mind. So that was the beginning.
Now I have this toad, actually I have a lot of toads, but this one particular toad hangs around a lot and with all the rain, we're buried in earwigs, snails and slugs - good toad food. So this toad has been making a nightly appearance on the new deck where she sits in the corner and snatches any unsuspecting bug that gets within tongue reach. So I was telling my mother about the toad and we were all laughing about it and my husband's freakish hatred of earwigs when we moved on to a new topic: poop.
So we were talking about poop. We often talk about poop because I have a lot of it and my father uses a lot of it and the poop conversation moved into the realm of a previous internet thread in which an online friend suggested we make poop animals to sell as flower bed fertilizer. I suggested we shape the poop into toads and sell them because while my sister's dexterity isn't great, I figured she could form a toad without a lot of difficulty and she's looking for a new ways to generate income since she had to stop nursing. So we started talking about how to create and market these manure creatures and we came up with:
Poop Toads: handmade by shitty arthritic sherpas. I laughed so hard I almost snorked wine out my nose.
I am not making this up.
Sorry, Wrong Number (A Texting Story)
1 month ago